Changed – Part 2

Read Part 1 here.

When the doctor told my parents of the damage my brain had suffered, I of course knew none of this. My parents kept me from the grim reality. I can clearly remember the doctor visits, but that was not the scary part.
What I remember more than anything were the nights. It was at night that my fears were at their greatest. During the day I was surrounded by people. At night I was alone. Every night when it was bedtime, the terror set in. I would cry and beg my mom to stay with me until I fell asleep. I did not want to close my eyes for fear of what the night would bring. Fearful that another seizure would happen. Fearful that I would not live to see the morning.
After taking the seizure medication for some time, doctors decided to begin to ween me off of it. Shortly thereafter, I went back for more scans and tests. Doctors were baffled by what they found. All traces of brain damage were gone. There was no evidence I had ever even had a seizure.
“…and the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well.” -James 5:15
“…for I am the Lord who heals you.” -Exodus 15:26
Jehovah Rapha had moved in me. The Mighty One had worked a miracle in me. God truly is so good.
Let me diverge from my story for a moment to make it clear that even if God had not healed me, He would STILL BE GOOD. He would still be the only Jehovah Rapha. He would still be mighty and awesome. He would still be the creator of the universe that longs for an intimate relationship with each of us and would still be so deserving of our praise.
Of course my parents were ecstatic over the doctor’s news, but I was still terrified. The memory of that Sunday still plagued me. I still cried and begged my mom not to leave me at night. I remember my mom telling me that if I had Jesus in my heart, there was nothing to fear. But I didn’t. God used my seizures to stir my heart. It was during those long nights that I came to realize I so desperately needed to be forgiven of my sins. I so desperately needed the one called Jesus to come into my heart.
When I was 13 I made a decision that changed my life forever. I prayed for God to forgive me of my sins. I prayed that He would come into my heart to stay. I promised to serve Him alone. And God was right there to answer my cry, to cleanse me.
“‘Come now, let us reason together,’ says the Lord. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.'” -Isaiah 1:18
God’s ways are so above our comprehension. His plan so much more magnificent than anything we could ever imagine. If before the day I was born, God had asked me to write my life story, I most certainly would not have included seizures. But I am so thankful to have had them. I now have an awesome testament of God’s glory to share with people. And after I welcomed Christ into my heart, I did not have another fearful night. I have never again been afraid to fall asleep. Fear had been replaced with peace.
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” -2 Corinthians 4:17
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'” -Jeremiah 29:11
God had a plan to change me. He had a plan to invite me to become one of His own. And since that day almost 9 years ago, He has not stopped changing me.

8 thoughts on “Changed – Part 2

  1. I love you so, so much. I cannot imagine what you all went through so long ago, but I know that reading this and thinking about it now honestly brought tears to my eyes.

    God is good, and I thank Him for you often. I will even moreso now. *hug*

  2. Amanda! It was amazing for me to read this, because I know how lucky we all are to have you now, the Amanda we all know and love. I thank God for you, for what a good friend you've been to me, for the role model you are to me, and for everything you are so strong to do for others. I am so thankful that God healed you and you grew into the amazing woman you are now.

  3. I'm soooooo proud of you sister!!! I can't wait to wear my Simply Love Uganda tee. They sing a song at the orphanage – I love you Jesus deep down in my heart.. so deep deep so down down so deep down in my heart!!!

    Mama Kiki

  4. Wow Amanda! I knew from the beginning how special you are, but this just confirms it all! I love how you love Jesus and have such compassion inside you! Your story brought tears to my eyes. You have been given an extraordinary gift and I'm so glad you are using it for God's glory. I always prayed that my Zach would meet someone who loved God with everything in her and that she'd challenge him in his own faith. Thanks for being you! 😉

  5. Made me cry just thinking what your parents must have went through and what was going through your mind at such a young age. Thankful to the Lord that He never wastes anything and used this traumatic time to not only heal you,but to redeem you and pull you from spiritual death. He knew that one day you would share His love with the orphans of the world. Praying for you and so very thankful our paths have crossed. Thank you for sharing!

  6. ps…..i have you entered in our giveaway! Twice! Good luck to you! Tomorrow is the last day to do get another entry; drawing tomorrow night; winner announced friday morning on my blog! 🙂

  7. Thanks for sharing your story Amanda. You are another example of how I have grown as a teacher. Nine years ago, I did not know of your fear, nor of your dedication to God that happened when I met you. As I said in class when you were speaking with my students, we just don't know who is in the locker next to us. I am so thankful to know you as a student, but much more so now as a young lady dedicated to serving the Lord by working with young people. Blessings upon you always.

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