Nope. Still no baby. As best we can, we are patiently waiting Nora’s arrival (easier said than done). I would love to tell you that I have been the picture of grace and peace during this time, but that would be a lie.
40 weeks exactly
I have learned a lot about myself throughout this pregnancy. There is all kinds of ugly in my heart! Things that I struggle with have been magnified. Especially here at the end, I am seeing more and more how much I think I need control and how little I actually trust God. Can I just be real? I am major type A, controlling, impatient, my way or the highway, do it myself kind of person. This should be no surprise to anyone who actually knows me. That my husband still loves me amazes me. I’ve talked about it before, but this has certainly been a time of learning to let go of that control.
I have been under the illusion that I was doing better with letting go of the reigns and allowing God to guide me…yeah not so much. I want to have this baby NOW! And if I can’t have her now, then I at least want her to come in a time and fashion that aligns with my plans…yeah right.
Yet, in the midst of my ugly, I have had some beautiful moments that I can see God’s hand at work in me. I started going through “Jesus Calling” again, and oh my the past few mornings have been stab me in the heart perfect. They have been reminders that I am to wait and trust on God. I am to let go of control because when I fight for what I think is control, what I am really saying is that I don’t trust in God’s plan for my life. I am to offer God a sacrifice of thanksgiving by living like Mary at the feet of Jesus, rather than striving like Martha to do, do, do.
When I’m fighting against God’s plan, there is no peace. Yet, when I stop fighting and wait on him, he promises to renew my strength. He assures perfect peace for those who focus their minds on him. And though I may feel like I cannot possibly do this any longer, his word assures me that he has prepared me for this very thing and that with him all things are possible.
I have no choice but to keep waiting. I do have a choice in how I respond to the wait. My every day battle is to choose more Jesus, and that battle is so worth the fight.
40 weeks and 5 days at my non-stress test. Nora’s happy and healthy in there!
God’s timing is always perfect, so for now we are still waiting. That’s not to say we haven’t heard and tried just about every labor inducing myth out there. We are believing that Nora must need some more time in there, and she will come exactly when she needs to. Thank you so much to everyone who has been praying for us and sending us good thoughts. Will you pray and believe with us that Nora will come on her own? We hope to introduce you to our sweet girl soon!