I hate fundraising. I hate that fundraising is so public. I hate having to bare my heart to the world, plead my case, and pray for support. I have really struggled with my journey so far for this mission trip. I have been so worried about not giving God due praise. I have worried that people will think I am only praising myself. I have worried about the way I am sharing Christ.
I know worry is not of God.
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” Matthew 6:34
But, I still worry. I don’t want people to think this is about me. Or that I think it is about me. IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. It will never be about me, or you. Even when we think it is about us. We are wrong.
When I brag, I am not bragging on behalf of myself. I am bragging on God.
“Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 10:17
“Thus says the Lord: ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:23-24
Please do not think for a second that I am proud of myself. I am nothing. It is my desire that if I am going to have to lay my heart on the line to fundraise, that people would really see my heart. I want people to see it all. I want them to see that I am a wreck. I want them to see my true heart.
I know that I annoy people with how much I talk about the mission trip. I know that the more public I am, the more open I become to judgments. I know that those closest to me know my heart. I pray that everyone does. In the end all I can do is follow Paul’s heeding.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8